Alone

Tonight I found a piece of myself I thought was missing...but it was a part of me...

I've been trying so hard to make myself available to other people that I forgot to see myself as I was...Alone...as there is no one that want to see me just for what I am but for what they want me to be...

Everyone has conceived a person so perfect that anyone whom they've met seem to be anything but perfect...and we love to criticize because it makes us seem closer to that perfect person that we, in fact, created...

So I ask myself...should I try to be that person...that perfect person..?

No, I shouldn't...even if that means I should be alone for the rest of my life...I won't try to be perfect...or anything remotely similar to perfect...to hell with it...it seems as if I will marry loneliness.. So "Loneliness, I love you, will you marry me?"

Pathetic as it may be...thinking about it makes it even more fun...will I ever be hurt? Nope...it won't cheat on me...it won't say that I’m pathetic...it won't judge me for what I think...as most people do without thinking about their own flaws...

We've all been thinking that if we had a person to take care of, that person will make the world better for us...and what if...that person makes the world better?…
You remain the same and that better world won't accept you...What if...you find a person that you think will make the world better, but that person...won't even look at you...so...I ask myself...should you care about that?...nope...it will only make you feel like the tiny useless meaningless piece of shit that you are..

I said I found myself...yes I did...I am alone...and it's not just a state of mind...it's a statement of who I am... could that change?...maybe...maybe it's just this night that makes me feel this way...but maybe we are all alone...think about it...do you think that anyone...anyone...could ever really really know you?