Sunteti PSIHOTICI!

Definitia psihozei: Tulburare mintala caracterizata printr-o dezorganizare a personalitatii, pierderea simtului realului si transformarea in delir a experientei traite. (http://www.informatiamedicala.ro/dictionar-medical/p/psihoza-5273.html)

Hmm...daca ne gandim bine…parca suna cunoscut…sa nu devenim ipohondri din prima…ma refeream doar la nevoia tuturor de a crede in ceva…uneori pana ajungem sa fim psihotici…si credem in prieteni imaginari. Ne place sa ne mintim singuri… in speranta ca nu suntem suntem asa de rai cum s-ar putea crede… Printre principalele simptome ale psihoticilor este pierderea simtului realului. Stateam ieri in metroul plin si langa mine o doamna in varsta. Citea o carticica, si ma gandeam ca ar fi un manual de utilizare pe care n-a apucat sa-l citeasca acasa. Nope. Era o carticica de rugaciuni. Si femeia proceda asa: citea rugaciunea, inchidea ochii, apoi dadea pagina. Era foarte serioasa in ceea ce facea, asa ca a uitat sa coboare unde trebuie…probabil problemele pe care le avea impreuna cu concentrarea asupra rugaciunilor erau prea mult ca sa mai poata fi in contact si cu lumea exterioara acelei cartulii micute(in valoare de 5lei, dar asta e alta poveste). Nervoasa fiind, pt ca ratase iesirea din tren, femeia a inceput sa pufneasca si sa se uite stanga-dreapta, de parca ar cauta pe cineva pe care ar fi intrebat :De ce nu mi-ai zis ca trebuie sa cobor?...apoi, a inceput sa murmure ceva…era…”fir-ar al dracului, iar intarzii”..Cateva priviri din zona din care venise o facura sa-si aduca aminte ce avea in mana…carticica de rugaciuni...asa ca a continuat…”doamne iarta-ma”. Iata, deci, un credincios crestin ortodox obisnuit. Nevoia ei de ajutor in problemele cotidiene era evidenta, iar carticica de rugaciuni pare a fi strigatul dupa ajutor, catre o putere superioara omului, cineva care ar putea s-o ajute neconditionat. Cred ca asta e singurul scop benefactor al religiei. De “tamaduire” psihologica. Pe de alta parte, toata aceasta poveste ma duce cu gandul la prietenii imaginari ai copiilor. Doar ca de data asta e vorba de adulti, de fapt de un extraordinar de mare procent din intreaga populatie de adulti a planetei. Iar prietenul imaginar este comun. Are mai multe nume si o carte…poveste destul de groasa. Asa cum copiii se uita la desene animate si-si imagineaza ca eroii ar fi reali si au superputeri si fac lumea mai buna, cam asa folosesc adultii religia…In “desenul animat” pt adulti avem personaje magice precum ingeri si arhangheli, din tabara celor buni, demoni si spirite malefice, din cealalta tabara, apoi conducatorii celor doua tabere ambii cu nume diverse in functie de zona de provenienta a povestii. Dupa un anumit timp, copiii se maturizeaza si descopera ca povestile pe care le credeau in copilarie nu sunt adevarate, ca nu exista nici Superman, nici Spiderman, nici Mos Craciun, nici Mos Niculae, nici Iepurasul de Pasti, niciuna din aceste povesti nu sunt reale. Dar adultii…adultii au povestea lor si refuza sa creada ca ar putea fi ireala. Cu toate ca au foarte multe motive. Dar aceste motive par sa dispara pt ei atunci cand ceva bun li se intampla pe parcursul existentei chinuite de conflicte psihice si cateodata fizice. Cand ceva bun se intampla, ei multumesc acelui personaj pozitiv din povestea aceea veche; dar cand ceva rau li se intampla, ei, atunci e atunci, ca nu se stie daca si-a bagat coada necuratul sau e vina lor, un alt conflict nerezolvat de “poveste”. Dar povestea parca garanteaza ca daca e sa fie ceva de bine trebuie sa multumim celui de sus…
Sa fie aceasta psihoza generala numita religie simptom al bolii generale ..moartea?
Poate ca oamenii au si altceva in plus fata de celelalte animale…posibilitatea de a evita moartea…poate ca trebuie doar sa determinam cauza fizica, probabil intr-o zona a creierului, care determina acest “simptom”, nevoia de o putere superioara…toate celelalte psihoze au simptome vizibile in creier…de ce nu si acesta?…poate ca atunci ne vom putea folosi intreaga capacitate a creierului; si atunci acest “simptom” va disparea indeplinindu-si scopul, sa ne salveze…

Manifest apocaliptic

Plictisiti ne intoarcem acasa cu capetele plecate...peste tot mizerie..peste tot dezamagire...peste tot teroare...suntem impinsi in teroare...un val de nebunie parca a cuprins pe toata lumea si toata lumea se intoarce asupra celor care incearca sa tinda catre normalitate...daca nu stiti ce e aia normalitate...este o viata medie...nici prea exuberanta...nici „de rasul lumii”... in care duci un trai decent...te duci la servici, te intorci si poti dormi pentru ca stii ca luna viitoare nu trebuie sa tai nimic ca sa iti poti plati mai stiu eu ce factura...si apuci sa te distrezi din cand in cand...poate ca asta e problema tuturor...nu mai apucam sa ne distram, in cautarea aceluiasi nou perpetuu, pe care daca-l gasim vom vrea din nou ceva nou inevitabil...parca cineva la un moment dat a zis suntem destinati sa ne plictisim...si parca toata lumea s-a gandit la unison...ce nu ne plictiseste niciodata?...Sexul!
...pai, atunci hai sa-l includem peste tot...ce daca se uita copii...si ei vor face sex la un moment dat si eu pe vremea mea nu stiam nimic despre asta si mi-a daunat...ca mi-era rusine sa vorbesc cu mama despre asa ceva...dar eu am jurat sa nu fiu ca parintii mei cu ai mei copii...toate astea sunt niste clisee nenorocite induse...logic ca n-o sa fim ca parintii nostri, logic ca acelor copii le dauneaza cunostintele timpurii despre sex...sunt copii si copilaria li se termina prea repede daca incep sa se futa de la 13 ani...logic, nu?...si mai logic este sa-i intereseze, ca doar copilaria are la baza curiozitatea...un orgasm la 13-14 ani inseamna ca s-a terminat copilaria...nu-ti mai vine sa te joci fotbal in parc cu ceilalti baieti, ca trece vreo pitzi cu pantalonasii atat de scurti incat i se vad bucile...si ce buci...vine si reversul...condamna toata lumea pedofilii(masculin) iar curvele la care tatii duc baieti de 15-16 ani sunt platite si considerate ceva normal...si vine Moni si-mi spune ca-l iubeste pe Iri...si-i mai face si copil(presupunem ca-i al lui)...ca ea are dreptul sa iubeasca un tip cu 20-25 ani mai in varsta dar una de 16 e minora si e proasta...dar Moni e desteapta...
Sunt curios cand o sa rabufneasca aceasta lume la unison...sa fie sexul apocaliptic?...sa ne trezim cand regina Angliei se va marita si va consuma maritisul in direct la tv cu printul de 11 ani al Arabiei Saudite?...si atunci cand toata lumea va face sex la unison...toata lumea va copula in acelasi timp...energia respectiva sa fie insuportabila pentru planeta provocand o implozie fiind magma mai rece decat suprafata?
Vise...
Planeta va fi aici mult dupa ce rasa umana va fi fost de mult extirpata ca un cos stors in baie in oglinda...sunt curios apropo de eco manie cand sau daca au scos prezervative ecologice...si daca mai presus de toate in afara de avort se mai gandeste cineva la suprapopulare...ca doar fiecare avorton are drepturile lui...cei in viata ma refer...adica stim ca aruncam mai multe gunoaie decat prevede orice norma ecologica sau ca n-avem unde sa aruncam gunoiul dupa aceleasi norme...dar nu ne gandim ca sunt din ce in ce mai multi care arunca gunoi...asta inseamna ca organizatiile ecologice sunt pro-avort?....aiurea...
Ati observat ca dupa fiecare razboi mai maricel asa urmeaza criza economica?....sa fie din cauza ca acei oameni care au bagat bani in acel razboi vor banii inapoi?..ca mie nu mi se pare ca brusc la terminarea razboiului oamenii n-aveau bani ci bancile...
Of...si papa benedict si-a rupt mana...o are in gips...papalitatea e in gips si musulmanii se pregatesc de un nou atentat...daca nu are cine sa vorbeasca cu dumnezeu chiar in acel moment al atentatului pentru ca pe benedict il doare in cotul gipsului?
...suntem blestemati...cu totii...nimic nu pare sa mearga...chiar si pentru cei bogati...daca lu’ Mutu i-a murit la intrare(zicea o tarfa) inseamna ca noi ceilalti n-o sa avem nici o sansa cand noi nu aratam nici pe jumate’ cat el...n-o fi folosit prezervative ecologice si fiind poluat l-a batut dumnezeu sau tarfa era minora si erectia s-a produs inainte de actul in sine...

The teenager

This morning the subway was crowded and everyone tried to breathe normally as the heat increased since no air conditioner was available. The air was a sea of perfume with a wave of sweat, and kids asked from time to time “mommy what is that horrible smell? I can’t breathe! “.One thing was certain. The bag of bad onion that the colored gipsy was taking to market as well as recently returned from construction sites Asian dudes annoyed everyone. But no one said anything. As usual, everyone had a sad look as if they just saw a drama, no voices could be heard because of the subway engine(s), but no one even wanted to speak. A strain of thoughts tortured my mind as I was trying to read something, but I couldn’t. Earlier, I saw a kid dressed in a colorful outfit and shiny shoes. She had green hair, and lots of piercing. It wasn’t so disturbing to watch, but the old lady standing next to her had a mean look as if she was just about to smack her. I wondered why. Then I realized she couldn’t possibly understand that kid. The look was the expression of disapproval towards everything the young generation liked. The kid was proud of her clothes and hair and shiny shoes, and she couldn’t care less about the looks that were almost cursing her. People fight and fear what they don’t understand…or just hate the unimaginable. Where does all the hate come from? Well…it’s kinda easy. The stinky subway might be a noisy place but it’s a great place to wonder through thoughts. So, I figured it out. Our society is a teenager. Think about it. At first, we were savages, people that didn’t know right from wrong; then, we started learning and we made great discoveries; then, everyone started fighting; then there was the renaissance and love was its’ theme; and then, there’s now… Rebellious, freedom obsessed, fashion addict, stubbornness all around, it all sounds like a teenager. Will we grow up? I believe we won’t live to see that world with at least less chaotic decisions and maybe the tendency of self-destruction won’t get to us after all.

Iluzia(II)

Ce poate fi mai frumos ca un inceput… sa te arunci cu capul inainte in necunoscut? Poate ca… “necunoscut”… e totusi un termen nepotrivit pentru ca intr-un fel sau altul intotdeauna stim, macar in subconstient, ce ne asteapta…oriunde am merge…orice am face…oricat de necunoscuta pare situatia, macar ca am vazut undeva ce urmeaza sa facem, si oricat de surprinzatoare ar fi reactia, “necunoscut” este un termen relativ. Si nu ma refer la informatie, ci la trairi, sentimente, iar astea cred ca par necunoscute doar pentru ca nu pot fi controlate…iti dicteaza ce esti, te definesc. Poate ca fiecare reactionam diferit intr-o aceeasi situatie datorita educatiei, cu toate acestea cand vine vorba de sentimente ele sunt definite de acealeasi cuvinte mereu…frica, iubirea, ura, dezgustul, dispretul, adoratia… chiar si nebunia in unele cazuri, privita ca sentiment… toate acestea ne pot defini. Umanitatea din fiecare ne face sa ne identificam de cele mai multe ori cu ceea ce este in fata noastra, indiferent daca acel ceva pare necunoscut. Sa fie asta motivul pentru care atunci cand cunosti pe cineva sa ti se para necunoscut iar scurt timp dupa aceea sa ai senzatia: “parca te cunosc de mult timp”? Sau poate punctele comune ale educatiei aproprie doua persoane, uneori pentru mai mult timp decat se asteptau initial, apoi, urmand tiparele logice ale oricarei relatii, aceste doua persoane se educa una pe cealalta pentru a putea convietui, ca sa-si poata spune: “te iubesc”.
Cat de greu e sa spui te iubesc atunci cand o simti cu adevarat…si asta pentru ca ai vazut cum se face, ai vazut unde poate duce, si, fie teama de respingere, fie teama de acea minciuna “si eu”, fie teama ca acel “si eu” ar putea fi adevarat, te arunca intr-un “necunoscut” deosebit, acela al intimitatii progresive; daca ajungi sa spui acel te iubesc, “necunoscutul” poate fi o anume descoperire, despre cel sau cea pe care il/o iubesti, care iti poate fura totul lasandu-te cu golul si pustietatea unei despartiri; daca ajungi sa spui acel te iubesc “necunoscutul” poate fi posesivitatea agresiva sau pasiva a celuilalt si modul cum vei reactiona la ea, ducand inevitabil la o extrema pe care nu esti sigur ca vrei s-o atingi, aceea de a te lasa imovabil in sufletul cuiva, de a nu putea cunoaste din nou singuratatea, de care uneori ai nevoie, pentru ca cineva este pentru totdeauna in sufletul tau, si atunci parca teama de a il/o pierde creste exponential cu lumea noua in care te afunzi; daca ajungi sa spui acel te iubesc … esti condamnat/a sa traiesti. Dar asta nu e o tragedie, asa-i? Oamenii sunt asa cum ii stim si sansa ca acest personaj, de-a dreptul fictiv, sa apara, este din pacate mica. Adevarul este insa si el relativ, asa ca, la fel ca tot ce ne inconjoara, acest personaj, “acel te iubesc”, este efemer. Dar atat cat tine, indiferent care ar fi motivele disparitiei sale, nu poate spune nimeni ca nu e cel mai frumos act din piesa de teatru numita “Viata”.

Do You Believe In God?

A high school girl, aged 16, was crying on a bench the other night while waiting for the subway train. When I asked her why, she showed me the book she was reading. It was Dante’s “Divina Comedia”. Then I said “so what? Hell is bad, but you are too young to worry about that and it’s a great book, but just a book”. The conversation then turned rather philosophical. She said that she didn’t believe in God after reading that book. Her whole short life she has been lied to by adults trying to prove themselves that they had a meaning on Earth, when in fact Heaven and Hell are made up stories meant to control people, to make them do “the right thing”, and that right thing is already within us, for we have a conscience. I thought that was outrageously clever for a 16 year old girl, cute too; she should think about boys or fashion or something, not the meaning of life and whether there is a God. But she kept going, saying that she was an orphan since she was 5, her parents died in car accident and her life was too messed up for boys or other things beside school. Of course everyone told her that her mom and dad went to heaven. Then she remembered her dad had molested her and her mom was a drunk, and by reading the book actually considered they might be in hell. Since we were going in the same train, she told me more. There was one question that maybe every one of us should consider (whether we are Christians, Jews, Muslims, or whatever…) what kind of god allows such things as child molestation, war, disasters, disease and so on, and so on. Isn’t God supposed to watch us? Isn’t God good, merciful, forgiving, and all other stuff that makes someone perfect? He was supposed to be perfect, wasn’t he? I tried to calm her down telling her that that’s no reason to cry for, that if she figured that out on her own maybe she won’t need religion to blame or thank for the good or bad things happening in her life, she will overcome those things by believing in herself for a change. But I wondered after she got of that train, if I should have given her the reasons many people use for their daily praying that God is all-knowing, that God works in mysterious ways, that God has a reason that we are not supposed to know. For 2000 years Christians told the world God walked on Earth to save us all. Muslims believe that God (Arabic: الله‎, Allāh) revealed the Qur'an to Muhammad, God's final prophet, through the angel Gabriel, and regard the Qur'an and the Sunnah (words and deeds of Muhammad) as the fundamental sources of Islam. Islamic tradition holds that Jews and Christians distorted the revelations God gave to these prophets by either altering the text, introducing a false interpretation, or both. That girl and I, and maybe some of you after reading this text, we’re actually asking the same questions, and all the questions lead to one: if there is a God, where is He? Because it all comes down to one God, or whatever you may call Him, the entity that created Earth…

Apocalypse

There was a thought I couldn’t get rid of last night...I thought of people...people that are so rich their money wouldn’t fit in a very large room, and people so poor their whole fortune would fit in match box. And then...something hit me… the thought about those poor people. They seem to have a life that no one in the middle or upper class could imagine. And when I say middle class I mean the people that barely hold their existence every day. I thought of that because I read an article that said 1 billion people are starving. That means 1 of 6 people don’t have a thing to eat every day...So, how bad can life get? Above starvation in the suffering classification....how bad can life get? What if this is as good as it gets? We are given the freedom to have all the things we value. We have only ourselves to blame if those things don’t happen for us. So, if we have everything, what if this is a kind of „heaven”? How can we tell those starving people that THIS is heaven??? And that they’re to blame for starvation? There are many reasons to say that this is or isn’t heaven...even a starving man (or woman...or maybe they can more) enjoy the simple pleasures of life. What is so great about the simple pleasures? Some would say that they are the ultimate reason to live. That conservation instinct that keeps even the most depressed from jumping into suicide. That’s what simple facts of life can do...Then...there’s another question...what if heaven and hell don’t exist? Do we have to/need to believe there’s something better and something worse to keep us from doing what we think it’s worse so we don’t get to a worse place after death? And is there a better place for us if we respect the rules of society? Perhaps people should believe in heaven and hell for this simple reason: if we don’t believe there’s heaven and hell than chaos and disobedience for society rules would destroy us. Is this the imminent Apocalypse? Is the Apocalypse the moment people realize they’ve been lied to by other people, even though maybe those people only wanted to avoid chaos? This series of rhetorical questions is only meant to confuse...but seem right to people that actually think...

Time Travels

The most powerful men of the planet were on the island, hidden from the eyes of the world. At first, it would seem that their world was the same as ours, there was war everywhere, and famine, and pollution. But somehow they were more evolved than we are. It was a different world, and they knew that they had to do something to change their world for a better mankind. Their world was ruled by scientists. They believed in God but they only knew Moses and the Roman Empire had taken over Jerusalem without any resistance from local priests, and the Romans imposed easily their gods to the Jewish people. But when the natural course of history led humanity to scientific discoveries everyone admitted there could be only one God, the Creator. After that they invented guns, and their world fought for power and lands and wealth. Their struggle was getting worse and there were only five nations left in battle, and they each had a continent as their country. So those men met on a recently discovered island in the midst of the Atlantic Ocean, to discuss their world’s fate, by revealing to all others the non-military scientific discoveries they possessed. They could have revealed the other secrets as well but if the meeting failed to come to an answer the world was doomed by war. Some of those secrets you may know, for they are searched for by our world too, as time travel and healing potions. They had reached a peak in science, and imagination was their currency, every new idea was treasured as we treasure diamonds. The island was called Atlantis, in honor of the lost continent they found in another ocean; that continent provided them with knowledge that took centuries to fully understand. Among that knowledge there was one which was on every mind, a knowledge that changed that world’s destiny. It would seem from Atlantis records that the people of Atlantis knew even more than any world could. Then, the people of Atlantis found out there was an imminent threat to their existence, a threat they could not have defeated. No one knew what that danger was, but when the time came, a High Council, or whatever they would call it, met to decide how to solve that threat, and since it couldn’t be avoided the number of casualties had to be minimum. And they decided to build a ship, big enough to fit as many animals and as many people as they could transport back in time to a distant land far away from that imminent threat. Since the world with five leaders knew the Old Testament mentioned Noah and his ark, they knew that the story there was about the people of Atlantis. But on “new Atlantis”, they never mastered time travels, they could only guess were they were sending the passengers, and they knew that once the time line was broken they ceased to exist because the past was altered so it was a one time opportunity. Then, for the first time in many years the five leaders agreed. They would send two ships, one way back than the other. The first was to alter the Old Testament to announce the coming of the Son of God. The other was packed with every bit of information needed to change the world in good, so war and famine and most of all morality would change. They wanted to accomplish that by artificial insemination of a young virgin, a miracle as it would have been considered at the time, and the child was about to become world leader because of his evolved DNA, and the help of a crew of twelve men with altered DNA. The plan involved other miracles to prove that he was the Son of God. They could not anticipate the people’s reaction, but they knew it was their only chance. They chose to act on behalf of God, since the people of the time chosen really only obeyed religion and not authority, and thinking their knowledge was a gift from Him. Their actions were God’s will to give mankind a second chance or third, or, who knows…At the time of the Greatest Discovery as they called time travels, they knew it was the gift that God gave them to change the world, but the time travels before that were only experiments, and this was the completion of their study. The five leaders knew that they could not succeed alone, they failed when they tried. It left them though with beautiful memories and everyone enjoyed the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, and the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, the Mausoleum of Maussollos at Halicarnassus, the Colossus of Rhodes, and the Lighthouse of Alexandria. But it was time to change the world and no mistakes could happen this time, they were together. It seems now they only succeeded to create a different version of an ancient religion. Mankind was doomed since the writing of the apocalypse by John in the Book of Revelation. And as this story(fictional of course) goes it seems that the five leaders failed, and the world is on its course to another time travel, if we will receive another one, the same gift, from God, or we(mankind) will be considered a failed experiment.